Quest for better living sometimes leave us a little apart from our spouses. The truth lies in the fact that we spoil so many things than build. What is a long distant relationship? The fact that your partner travelled for a month doesn't make it long distant. And the fact he stays in Lagos and you in Abuja doesn't make it long distant. The reality is the time you spend apart. Sometimes bank workers and construction workers keep long distant relationships without knowing it.
There is one thing about being in a relationship and dealing with the normal problems in person, but it’s something else entirely when there is distance between you two. Most of your problems will not occur because of normal boyfriend/girlfriend issues.
The fact that you guys can’t see each other often will prove to be a problem. Most of the time, your arguments will deal with distance rather than real relationship issues. This will prove to be taxing on the mind and it is extra stress that can be avoided by taking this advice and realizing that your long distance relationship isn’t going to work.
The physical part of your relationship matters more than you think. There is lots of information you will not be privy to when in a distant relationship. When you don’t sit on the same couch and you don’t hug him/her. Secondly you spend time lots of people not needed than your spouse. Managers sleep with their ugly secretaries most times because of proximity. A time not spent with your spouse is a time spent with someone else. Distance doesn’t make your heart grow fonder; it makes you forget about your partner. Many people feel that distance helps people grow closer, what they don’t take into account is time. While being in a relationship, being away from each other a month or two may actually be more beneficial to your relationship than hurtful. However, people do not take into consideration that this distance, over a longer period of time, does not work the same way.
Time, coupled with distance, really makes for a difficult situation. Although many may say that distance is bringing you guys closer, it is actually doing the opposite. The longer you stay away, the more likely you are to forget about them; it’s more like the cliché, “out of sight, out of mind.”
As human beings, a normal part of our lives is we have urges every day. The problem is that with a long distance relationship, the separation time always gives you more reason to cheat. It is highly likely that you haven’t had real sex in a while and you are just dying. The temptation is just all around you, especially in times when you are down and need to take a load off. This is one of the biggest reasons why this type of relationship won’t work. There is no need to torture yourself and try to prolong the process. We understand that you guys love each other, but sometimes you just have to know when to cut your losses.
Sandie lives in Lagos and her boyfriend lives in Abuja. They have met on a flight to Abuja when she came to visit her uncle during the Christmas festival. The whole fifty five minutes have been an adventure thus they needed to see when they landed. He picked a cab that took her to her uncle’s place first before going home. He called to tell her he was home and complements were given for being nice and all that. The next morning, Bayo called her again and asked to take her out since she came in for vacations. He was on leave in the office thus he had all the time. From Ceddi plaza to City Park and the Ibiza fish was welcomed in the evening. Play got the best DJ at the moment and it wasn’t long she started feeling comfortable around him.
It was four straight days of extreme fun and a little addition to her wardrobe that she got convinced Bayo was a reality to behold. She willingly opened up her all, to feel the internal part of him. Surprisingly he was sexually better than what she imagined. She got the best she’s ever had and gave in her best too. Bayo was open to a fault and all was good. He wasn’t cheating; he was about to be busy. Sex was made a culture and like two love birds they promised themselves heaven on earth. They spent all the time they could squeeze out together and they were pride to all. It seems they’ve known themselves all through their existence. It was impossible to believe this was a two weeks affair. Nights were now longer and couldn’t wait for mornings to continue the passionate adventure. 31st of December was met in the same church. COZA was cozy for them and afterwards they still stumbled and rumpled the bed as if they were on honeymoon. It was two days to Bayo’s resumption back to work and zenith bank needed all his attention. Sandie would also be going back to Lagos to resume in a courier company with fewer duties. There the problem began.
They couldn’t allow themselves leave. It was easier for Bayo who would be busy attending to customers from 8am till 5pm and then work on the accounts for the day but on Sandie’s part it was unbearable. She wept many nights and saw she couldn’t cope any longer. She was in love but there was a barrier, distance. She was going to break the barrier. Weekends would be her option. Two weeks straight without seeing Bayo wasn’t a possibility she could envisage. But it was happening.
On the other side, Mirabel was just transferred from the Asokoro branch to Bayo’s office. There is a popular belief; if you have sex in your car, you stand to knock your engine. Bayo and Sandie had done couple of times thus the car developed some problems immediately she left. Mirabel was Bayo’s neighbour hence she drops him off at work and back home. They spent time together and she was getting bored of the whole Sandie this and Sandie that. The third week was quite hectic and after Friday work they’ve stopped over to have some drinks and that got Mirabel a lot high. She couldn’t drive so Bayo’s house was to be their destination. They fell on themselves and kissed mistakenly and slept off
The flight was for 7.45am hence she was at the airport by 6am waiting to see her love. It was supposed to be a surprise visit. I’m going to rip him off his clothes and have him till we are both fatigued she thought. The flight was on schedule and she got a cab to take her straight home to her boo. She had bought for him a citizens wristwatch and a new lingerie for the night but to her surprise she opened the door to see Mirabel resting her head on a chest she so cherished. Her legs became weak and slowly she fell and with tears she said
By Oluwole Ijasan
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