Felix Chidi's Blog: Entertainment

Monday, June 12, 2017

10 Types of 30-Year-Old Single Guys

30-year-old guys are a curious bunch.
Find me a group of 30-year-old men and I’ll pick out one overgrown frat dude living with roommates, another guy who just dropped his two kids off at school, a few who are well into their careers and a couple soul-searchers looking for work. Some will tell you that they’ve finally figured it all out and some more will say they feel hopeless for the first time in their lives. It’s a motley crew.
But perhaps the motliest part of this crowd is the ever-growing group of 30-year-old single guys. If you want a case study in humanity, 30-year-old single guys have pretty much all the bases covered. Let’s examine some of the common types:

1) The Total Package
Frequently Asked Invisalign Questions Answered | Arlington Heights, IL

Frequently Asked Invisalign Questions Answered | Arlington Heights, IL

The Total Package is smart—he went to a top college. The Total Package is an athlete, a musician, and an avid traveler. The Total Package is handsome—and you better believe he’s well-groomed.
The Total Package has a hell of a career going, but don’t you for a second suggest that The Total Package would be a workaholic—The Total Package is a family man.
There’s just one thing The Total Package seems to be having a hard time finding—a girl worthy of his greatness.
Yes, the woman fit for The Total Package will be the ultimate icing on his cake of perfection. He imagines her often—gorgeous as they come, she turns heads; bursting with charm and charisma, she lights up every room she enters; she’s a brilliant rising star in her career and beloved by her many friends. And that’s just her public persona—at home, she’s fantastic in bed, a spectacular cook, loving, selfless, and devoted. Oh and she also speaks French, plays tennis, sings beautifully, reads voraciously and she’s a history buff. His Juliet.
Unsurprisingly, The Total Package is single. He’s immersed in a fierce battle between his superhuman standards and his terror of being 40 and single—because 40 and single is not supposed to be part of The Total Package’s story.
2) The New Lease On Life Guy

As long as anyone can remember, The New Lease On Life Guy had been dating his longterm girlfriend. He never seemed that happy in the relationship, but everyone just assumed they would eventually get married. Now, after a long and difficult breakup, The New Lease On Life Guy has reemerged with a bang and is suddenly acting like he just got called down on The Price Is Right. He’s not really sure how to be single but he’s goddamn happy he is, and he’s sure as hell going out tonight.
He’s also the arch-nemesis of The Resigned Fiance, who’s in an equally unhappy relationship but just kind of kept going with it, unable to resist the sweet, sweet inertia, and who most certainly does not want to hear about The New Lease On Life Guy’s latest exploits.

3) The Guy Who Has To Marry Someone Of The Same Ethnicity Or His Parents Will Never Speak To Him Again

It’s hard enough finding someone to be your life partner, and this guy’s parents are really not making things any easier. He tried to rebel briefly, but after his last girlfriend was not allowed in his parents’ house, causing her to cry, he gave up on that.
He’d also really appreciate it if his mother would stop setting him up on dates.

4) The Misogynist

The Misogynist hates women, and women hate The Misogynist. The Misogynist doesn’t know a whole lot about the other gender, but he can tell you the exact number of them he’s slept with—214.
He did quite well with girls back in his earlier days when many were in their attracted to assholes phase, but lately, only those with the lowest self-esteem seem to gravitate towards him.
The Misogynist’s close cousin is The Perpetual Cheater. They’re different but they understand each other.

5) The Guy Who Peaked Too Early

Back in the day, The Guy Who Peaked Too Early had everything a 17-year-old girl could ever dream of. His sky-high confidence carried him smoothly through college, and no one was surprised when he landed a smart, sweet, beautiful girlfriend in his early 20s. But The Guy Who Peaked Too Early was just getting started. There was a field that needed to be played, and he broke up with his girlfriend when he was 24.
Now it’s seven years later, his hair got bored and left, and his high school lacrosse glory isn’t part of the conversation that much these days. And he’s noticing that girls like his ex-girlfriend don’t seem to be all that into him anymore. Realizing this about five years after everyone else, he takes a deep sigh and cranks his standards down a few big notches.
6) The Guy Who’s Finally a Good Catch

On the other side of the coin, after losing some weight, getting decent clothes, and having early career success, The Guy Who’s Finally a Good Catch is getting more attention each week than he got in his first 25 years combined. Girls find it endearing that such an appealing guy has managed to maintain his humility, when it’s actually just that he’s assuming every girl is out of his league at all times.
Once his new situation starts to sink in, he enters an unfortunate new phase, stressing his male friends out by doing things like winking at them over the shoulder of a girl he’s dancing with and offering them a fist pound when an attractive girl walks by on the street.
7) The Normal Guy Who Just Hasn’t Met The Right Girl Yet And He Really Wishes People Would Stop Looking At Him With Those Pitying Eyes

Ah, He likes his job, he likes his friends, and he likes being single just fine. He’s in no rush to be in a relationship and feels totally confident that at some point, he’ll meet the right girl and get married.
He’s also not quite sure why everyone who knows him is trying to figure out “what the problem is.” His parents are worried, never wasting an opportunity to ask him if he’s been dating anyone. His friends want to help, setting him up on dates every chance they get. He appreciates all the unsolicited support, but he also thinks it would be pretty great if everyone stopped thinking there was something wrong with him.

8) The Aggressively Online Dating Guy Who Can’t Believe He’s Not Married Yet

The opposite of the previous guy, The Aggressively Online Dating Guy Who Can’t Believe He’s Not Married Yet can’t believe he’s not married yet. Through high school, college and his twenties, he was always The Guy With A Girlfriend. He spent years enjoying pitying his single friends, and somehow, he’s now 30 and single.
He has four online dating profiles, and when people ask him if he’s dating anyone, he explains that he’s just too busy with his career right now for a relationship.
9) The In-The-Closet Guy

The In-The-Closet Guy is so close to being the perfect catch—he’s handsome, he’s well-dressed, and he has a great job. He’s funny, articulate, and charming. The only tiny little inconvenience is that he’s not attracted to females whatsoever.
His antithesis is The NGWJHMTRGYAHRWPWSLAHWTPE, who’s had just enough of the theories about him being gay, since he’s completely straight and, for the hundredth time, just hasn’t met the right girl yet and is really very okay with being single right now.

10) The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point

The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point never tried that hard in the first place, but at least there used to be a semblance of effort. He doesn’t like going to bars, refuses to try online dating, and both the bong and the X-Box are back in the living room following their brief stint in the closet after his friend gave him a pep talk one day four months ago.
Deep down, The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point is pretty frightened about a lot of things, but his fear manifests itself in indifferent denial, and passivity usually prevails. There is only one way that things change for The Guy Who Has Just Fully Quit At This Point, and that’s to find himself squarely in the sights of The Girl Who Relentlessly Pursues. Until then, the whole thing isn’t really his issue.

If you live in Lagos, you are the proverbial cat with nine lives. In fact, collect seven Gbosas from me. Gbosa! Gbosa! Gbosa! Gbosa! Gbosa! Gbosa! Gbosa!
In Lagos, a lot of odds are stacked up against you. If traffic is not dealing with you; it will be some unscrupulous law Enforcement agents hot on your heels, or it will be some area boys disturbing your business. Lagosians are indeed people with very thick skins; people with special kind of keratin.
On Saturday, the odd against Gbenga was the very people who were supposed to protect him from some of the wild animals that parade the streets of Lagos in human clothing.
Gbenga works with a Lagos based Agro company facilitating the sourcing of commodities and transporting the commodities to manufacturers. As usual, Gbenga woke up to go about his normal business; a truck from the Northern part of the country was already offloading in Ikorodu. Gbenga’s job includes going to site to supervise the whole process and also to pay the driver and the boys offloading the goods for them.
Gbenga stopped over at a First Bank ATM just before the ikorodu garage to withdraw some money for the payment of the driver. The transaction didn’t take up to six minutes and Gbenga was out of the bank premises to continue his journey to the client’s factory.
His plans for Saturday experienced its first ‘flat tyre’ when some touts approached him moments after he left the ATM. “Give us our share of the money you collected from the ATM” some igbo smelling touts croaked at him. “Ogbeni, corporate jor or we will scatter your fine boy and still collect the money on top.”
At this point Gbenga could not believe what was happening to him; it looked like some of the scenes he had seen in Nollywood. He dragged with the boys until it dawned on them that they’ve ran into a bad customer. Gbenga was about hissing a sigh of relief when he was accustomed by the Police who were just a stone throw from the scene of the first incident.
“Hey you come here” one of the Policemen said to Gbenga. “Where are you coming from” One of them said he should identify himself. Gbenga complied, brought his identification card. The policemen took the identity card from him. “What do you have in your pocket?” the men kept barking down several orders at the same time. “Oya crossover; go and meet our oga!” “Oya!” at this point, the two policemen started pushing him to crossover to the other side of the road.
When he crossed over, Gbenga tried to explain his mission in the area. The second policeman shouted him down. “Shut up, Yahoo boy like you!” At this point Gbenga could not maintain his cool any more. “Yahoo what!?” “Please I have people waiting for me at the factory; I need to hurry up to meet them.”
“Shut up, you this Yahoo boy; I don’t want to hear from you again. Don’t worry by the time we are done with you, you will understand” shouted the policeman the second Policeman.
“What are you in the game, are you a picker, Internet dating or are you the owner of the game?” Gbenga answered that he is a staff of a company and that he was going to pay workers at the site.
The policemen said he was being stubborn, handcuffed him and beat him up. The policemen in the van took his wallet and started looking for what they could use to buttress their points. They took his wallet, removed his ATM card and insisted he owned up to being a Yahoo Yahoo boy. Gbenga told them there was no way he was going to own up to who he is not. They started beating him again until they had their fill.
At the end of the day, the policemen took thirty five thousand naira out of the eighty thousand naira he withdrew from the ATM, dropped him off at an unknown destination and drove off.
“I can’t remember the last time I cried like a baby; but that Saturday I couldn’t fight back tears. I was shocked that some minutes after I resisted some area boys from robbing me; I was robbed by men of the Nigerian Policemen. Men that are paid with taxpayers money to provide security to citizens like me” the devastated Gbenga said.

8 Things We Never Knew About ‘Toyo Baby’! in JENIFA'S DAIRY

Juliana Olayode, popularly known as ‘Toyo baby,’ is loved for her role in the comedy TV series, Jenifa’s Diary.

Playing the character of Jenifa’s (Funke Akindele) best friend , Juliana didn’t expect to get the role when she went for the audition as there was a crowd.

1. Apart from Jenifa’s Diary, she has featured in other movies
Yes. I have featured in other movies like Where Does Beauty Go, Rivers Between, Couple of Days, and others.

2. She is a writer
I write scripts, I have sold some of my scripts and kept some in my archives, hoping to produce them someday soon

3. She has vowed to remain a virgin until marriage
I opened up (about virginity) because God instructed me to. Some years ago, I was at Bible Study when He said He’ll open a door for me in the entertainment industry and that when He does I should use the platform to talk about s*xual purity.

4. She belongs to a ministry called ‘Mine ministry’.
Out of many other things we do, we are strong advocates of s*xual purity. We have our World Virginity Day.

5. She was reluctant about going to audition for Jenifa Diary
I got a broadcast message from a friend, Temitope Dada, we call him Dabest. I usually don’t read BCs especially when lengthy but I did and my mentor encouraged me to go for it. I had been going for several auditions and they never got back to me, so a part of me didn’t want to go for the audition. Dabest also told me to give it a try, so did my mum and some other friends.

I attended the audition and I was 527 on the list. The audition was supposed to start by 10am. I was there by 8am and was surprised to see the crowd. I wanted to go back home but my mum, mentor and friends that I called, told me not to leave there without being auditioned. A few days later, I was called for another audition. I scaled through and was called back for yet another. It was really competitive as we had about 20 people wanting to play Toyosi at the third stage of audition. But all thanks to God who singled me out and I was picked to play the role. That’s how I found myself in Jenifa’s Diary.

6. She is also a make-up artist
I learnt makeup for the series, Jenifa’s Diary. I was told ahead that the character would venture into makeup in the next season and Mrs Funke Akindele Bello told me to learn to help make it real.

7. Her role models
Jesus is my first role model; He is worthy to be emulated and I daily ask Him to teach me how to be like Him. I also have others like Mrs. Titilope Adigun, she is an amazing woman believe me when I say so. There is Genevieve Nnaji , Mrs Funke Akindele Bello, Mrs Joke Silva, Bimbo Akintola and a couple of others that I admire.

8. She is a motivational speaker
My mentor, Mr. Timi Adigun helped me discover my talent. I used to think no one would listen to me and that I don’t have what it takes for people to listen to me but he encouraged me. He would give me responsibilities to talk about at Bible Study and in church. He gave me assignments that made me start enjoying talking to people and brought me out of my shell.

Controversial Singer Dammy Krane Released From Prison

Controversial Singer Dammy Krane Released From Prison
Nigerian social media had started a ‘Free Dammy Krane’ hashtag online in a bid to fight and protect the cause of the fuji-pop music star who certain sources claimed his innocence over the 9-count charge levied against him by a Federal court in Miami USA, which majorly sum up to forgery, manipulation and theft.

Although Dammy Krane, who is signed to Usual Suspekt music label, has been released on bail having met up with the bail requirements as prescribed by the Miami ruling court, he is however expected to appear again for a second hearing come the 23rd of June.

As such, the enterkraner won’t be leaving the American shores anytime soon.

BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUT TO THE BOSS

Birthday shoutout to our boss Felix Chidi Wobialor
Today is your birthday and we simply wish for all your success. We at felixchidiblog are lucky enough to have a boss like you. You are such a modest person and we hope that even you grow old yearly; you will stay the same for us. Thank you for all the inspiration and encouragement you have contributed to us. Happy birthday Boss!

FIFTEEN NOT TEEN BY NZEOCHA CHIDOZIE : EPISODE:ONE

Yes! Yes! Yes! My name is Brenda she echoed as she confessed in her story. What is most vital is my story and not my surname, she responded as a way of avoiding the question. I am just fifteen years old but people say many things about me, most especially my physique. Age if to be considered am a minor but in appearance I hear guys say ''Babe you gather'', ''Babe you hot'', ''Babe your curve no be here'', ''chick, your waist na fire'', ''Chai! See behind''….. Notwithstanding there conscious and unconscious confessions which my own friends are not left out in the confession series. My female friends are something else, theirs are almost on a daily bases ''Babe I jealous your baka'', ''Babe dash me yansh small na...'' and so many other things that I cannot really point out now but if it is about buttock and front mine is extremely given by my maker “GOD”. What are you thinking? Hahaha..! Truly speaking every individual knows what he or she carries. Never forget that I got my mirror, eyes and hands to see and feel what I have. Most of these eulogies look sarcastic from the face of it but inane at the end. Back to my story…
We are living in a two bedroom rented apartment....”we” here means my parents and myself. I am the only child of my parents and one of the rooms automatically became mine while they both shared one. Everything I needed was provided for me by my parents despite the fact that we are not too rich however comfortable. I must confess that I have always been taken care of by my parents before my unanticipated and unforeseen incident occurred. My Mum normally calls me “Miss B” or “Angel B” while my Dad fondly calls me “My Own”. What gets me surprise most times is how my Dad looks at me. Does it mean he suspects my moves or his among my admirers? Sorry, I have not told you that even married men disturb me often; most interestingly some of these men have biological daughters that are even older than my very self yet they are carefree of my age. Not forgetting one certain time my close friend Rebecca became an agent for one of the married men who always gives her anything, all for my sake. Good a thing I am impervious so my friend Rebecca was aware her expertise would not serve in surmounting my decision so she never attempted. I had to talk about this man because of his disturbances on me becoming his “Little Angel”. On one occasion he said to me “Sweetie, I so much need you because I cherish you; your type cures Malaria and Big-man sickness”. Not being impertinent, I politely talked sense into him and advised him to spend more on his family and leave little girls old enough to be his daughters and grand-daughters alone. I watched the range on his face as I dotted my little poisonous and carefully presented speech waiting for his reply. Truly speaking about the effect of my speech on him, I noticed his face will be best explained using chemistry practical, taking about “BOILING POINT” what happens when a substance reaches this point. His face started to brighten up the moment his anger and disappointment ascending that point. He cleared his voice and said to me calmly “My daughter you are indeed decent and different, please forgive my manners”. I responded nothing further than “No problem Sir, thank you Sir” as I left him for home. I could not stop laughing when I got home that very day till date, wondering if I am an antibiotic for Malaria or antidote for Big-man sickness. I thought within me “would his reply have been the same assume I concurred?” Food for thought; absolutely “No” that is why I was never moved by his broken submission that was crystal clear pretentious because I knew devourers are always eager to devour..

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How To Get A Girlfriend in 17 Insanely Actionable Steps

So…girls like you but not that “one” girl you truly desire.
Not your dream girl.
That’s because if you want HER to choose YOU then you need to stand out and become her obvious choice.
You’re about to discover how to get a girlfriend by becoming her obvious choice, so she chooses you over all the other guys chasing her.
There’s no wishy washy bullsh*t here like “be more confident” or “talk to more girls”.
Just 17 proven steps you can start using right now to attract that special girl you like and make her your girlfriend.
Sound good? Then keep reading…

#1: Stop assuming she won’t be interested in you!

STOP making excuses not to go and talk to the girl you like.

Like assuming she won’t be interested in your because you’ve never had a girlfriend.
Instead assume that every girl is interested in you because after all…you’re friggin awesome!
Here’s how to re-write some common negative excuses with positive reasons to TAKE ACTION!
For example:
“It’s no use talking to her, she won’t be interested in me” = “I should go talk to her she looks bored”
“She’s out of my league” = “I wonder if she’s cool enough to hang out with?”
This will help you approach girls you like with positivity and you’ll naturally become an extremely attractive guy to be around.

#2: Next time you see her give her a genuine compliment

Show her you like her by giving her a genuine compliment.
The best way is to be specific, so say the first thing you notice about her that makes your heart beat.
Perhaps it’s her ravishing red lipstick, her cute smile, or her hair is tied back for the first time.
If you struggle to say something on the spot because you’re blown away by everything all at once then simply: “Wow. You look amazing” or even just “WOW”.
If you forget to compliment her when you first meet her you can compliment her randomly out of the blue at any moment.
It’ll come as more of a surprise, for example, “You look amazing in that dress”, “I like it when you tie your hair back”, or if you’re standing behind her or even sitting in front of her, “you should checkout the view from here, it’s incredible”.
Notice how these compliments are sexual, NOT emotional.
You’ll discover why expressing your natural desire is a crucial part of getting a girlfriend in a moment.

#3: Make a unique connection with her

Think of all the inside jokes you and your best mate have and how nobody else “gets” what the hell you guys are giggling about when you drop one around other people.

Unique connections are the foundation of solid relationships. They make you subconsciously feel like you’ve known someone forever and that you’re relationship is “special”.
Now imagine how powerful this could be at connecting you and that special girl you like?
To build a special connection so she feels unique to you start by giving her a nickname.

Here’s how to create opportunities for nicknames and inside jokes to happen naturally:

Tease her about something she says then create a nickname based on that
Express your opinions and don’t hold back on sticking to your beliefs – she’s more likely to connect with you on something sooner
Look at the world like a child for the first time. Always be looking for fun and weirdness in the environment around you

#4: Be wildly unpredictable and spontaneous (but don’t kidnap lamas!)

Most people lead boring, predictable lives, so they’re attracted to people who are exciting and a bit unpredictable.

There is a definitive link between danger and physical / romantic attraction. So the more unpredictable you are, the more chance she will fall for you.
I’m not talking about smoking pot and kidnapping lamas…

#5: Keep your relationships with girls flirty (to stay out of the friend-zone)

Earlier I told you to give her sexual compliments rather than emotional ones.
Why?
Because expressing your emotional attachment to a girl before she’s equally invested in you is a sure fire way to get friend-zoned.
So if you want to know how to get a girlfriend you should also know how to stay out of the friend-zone because you won’t get anywhere if you don’t keep your relationships with girls flirty.

Don’t get me wrong, It’s ok tell a girl you miss her when you’re finally together, but NEVER in the early stages of dating.
That’s because women will run a mile if they sense you are more emotionally attached to them than they are to you.
If there’s no more mystery, suspense or anticipation she’ll get bored and friend-zone you.
The way to show a girl how much you appreciate her – without revealing your emotions and scaring her away – is to instead show your sexual appreciation for her.
I miss you = Can’t stop thinking about how hot you looked in that black dress. What delightful number do you plan to wear on our next encounter?
I can’t stop thinking about you = Is it weird that a the back of a Renault Megan just made me think about how amazing your bum looked last night?
I want to see you again soon = So when am I going to reunited with your sexy ass? Friday is looking good
I like you = You impressed me last night to the point where I’d actually consider sharing needles with you in my crack den.
I love you = I think I could have fun in HELL with you

#6: Put your mission first (think Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne)

Billions of dollars and rugged good looks are NOT Bruce Wayne, Tony Stark and Christian Grey’s most attractive qualities.
No.
What makes these guys most attractive is that they put their mission first.
When Tony Stark is working on a new Iron Man suit or Bruce Wayne has some criminal to track down, neither Tony or Christian let anything distract them (even sex) from completing their goals.
Their girlfriends always fight to take these guys away from their mission, but it is a fight they never actually want to win, because women want men who stick to their goals and don’t drop them for anything.
So whenever you are in pursuit of a goal (like hitting the gym, building your business, or studying) you should never stop what you are doing to make time for others because your mission is always #1.
For example, you do not answer the phone or respond to texts when you are on your mission or you do not sacrifice a gym workout for a binge drinking session with your friends.
You must also remember to stick to your mission, even if it means cancelling your plans to see a girl who’s important to you:

A man who will drop the pursuit of his goals to please other people is not a man on a mission.
So although she may appear upset or pissed at you she secretly does NOT want you to put her first, especially when you are only “sort of dating” and not invested emotionally in a relationship yet:

Never apologize for putting your mission before her.
Even after you and your future girlfriend become official, you must not sacrifice your mission to “please” her by spending more time with her.

#7: Stand up for yourself (even if you risk a fist fight)

A big part of getting a girlfriend is showing her you’ll “keep it real” in a confrontational scenario and stand up for what you believe is right. That you’re a protector not a pushover.
So whether it’s standing up for a girl when someone tries to mess with her or where you strongly disagree with something she says – showing her you have a backbone and that you won’t let anyone walk over you is a huge turn on!
Displays of passion and anger show you care. And when women see a man stand strong, stick to his guns, take his chances and put his life on the line in a hostile situation it makes them dizzy with excitement.
Eric Northman from True Blood, did drastic and violent things for Sookie (his lover’s) protection. He’d rip out hearts, kill superiors and literally do anything to keep Sookie safe:
Eric Northman Protecting Sookie

Protectors give women an intoxicating feeling of power. It rubs off on them and they love it!
Don’t get me wrong…I’m not saying you should become a serial killer
I’m saying that if you never upset the apple cart and always avoid the painful consequences of your words and actions, you’ll set women’s alarm bells ringing.
You will appear fake and weak, like you’re trying to passively please women into a relationship and/or sex.

#8:Be the pack leader HOWWWLLL!!!

Throughout history it’s been leaders of men like warriors, gladiators and soldiers who’ve set feminine pulses racing.
So the more you exude “warrior-like” leadership qualities such as assertiveness and decisiveness the more women will want to become your girlfriend.
If you don’t think you fit the bill of “Leader”, don’t sweat. All you need to do is work on developing a few leadership qualities.
Start by ditching indecisive words like “maybe” and replacing them with assertive words and phrases like “let’s”, “I want”, “we’ll go to”, etc, that show people you’re in control:

Give direction and make decisions. People are always secretly waiting for someone to tell them what to do – to give their life direction.
Even if you want to ask a question, for example, ask a girl out on a date, make sure it does more leading than asking. Like you expect her to follow you out.
Here’s an example that blends assertiveness and decisiveness perfectly:

Once you start making decisions more you’ll be surprised how quickly people (especially women) will look to you to lead the way.
You are the wolf not the sheep! HOOOWWWLLLL!!!

#9: Master indifference (explosions don’t shake you)

Ever noticed how guys with girlfriends attract women like flies to shit?
That’s because they naturally give off the vibe that they don’t need anyone else (since they’ve already got a girlfriend).
Indifference is VERY attractive because the less you need other people, the more other people need you.
Indifference means not needing other people’s approval or support to make your life complete.
It also means not giving a shit about what people think of you and being non reactive when people try to provoke an emotional response from you (even if there’s a huge explosion erupting behind you).
Women love the challenge of unlocking a man’s sensitive side rather than having it readily accessible to them from the get-go.
If you feel like you’re lacking indifference, start by working on these things:

Flat out ignoring people when they insult you
Not revealing your emotions when you’re sad
Don’t tell people your plans all the time

#11: Make her wonder about you

Women love mystery, suspense and anticipation.

“What you see is what you get” bores the HELL out of women, so rather than answering a girl’s questions “matter of fact-ly” you should aim to respond in a playful way that keeps her curious about you, e.g.

The more you keep her wondering about you the more excited she will be about going on a date with you:

Making a girl wonder about you at every stage of the process is the most powerful way to keep her hooked.
At the end of your first date, for example, when it’s time to say goodbye, kiss her lightly on the cheek and say “Tonight was fun. We should do it again sometime”.
Keeping her on the edge her seat is exactly how to get a girlfriend totally and utterly obsessed with you.

#12: Be risky to get frisky

When you show a girl you’re not afraid of losing her by taking risks, you send an unconscious message that your genes ROCK!
Taking risks means going in for that first kiss, turning a text conversation sexual, breaking a girl’s balls, calling a girl out when she’s wrong, etc.
Even if you get rejected for making a move women will respect you for having the balls to try.

#13: Don’t be afraid to tease her

Never be afraid to tease a girl you like. Although teasing may feel risky it’ll pay off MASSIVELY if done right.
If you don’t know where to begin with teasing try starting with a little role-reversal.
Women are used to guys being the sexual aggressor, so role-reversal flips the switch to make it out that SHE’S chasing YOU.
It’s a lot of fun and girls LOVE playing along with it:

#14:Unleash your sexual desire (and never be ashamed of it)

Unleashing your sexual desire isn’t creepy it’s natural!
But unfortunately society has taught you to be ashamed of your sexual desires and keep them bottled up instead of expressing them.
That’s because society is an asexual moron that doesn’t want you to get laid!!
The truth is women want to feel overwhelmingly desired, not rationally considered.
So holding back and not letting your natural desire spill out is counter productive.
Because when a man is so aroused and burning with desire that he’s willing to put himself out there, risking everything, girls can’t resist submitting themselves to his ravishment.
In fact, UCLA conducted a study in which they found 64% of women had “ravishment” fantasies.
So if you seriously want to get a girlfriend then try to express your sexual desire more often – the risk is ALWAYS worth it – because if you fail to put your intentions out there you’ll go straight to the friend-zone.

#15: Get her attention by giving her less attention

Is there someone in your social group who often ignores you when you try to engage them in conversation, as if their mind is elsewhere? So you find yourself repeating the same thing twice or even shout “HEY!!!” just to get their attention?
Does this person take hours to reply to your texts or simply doesn’t get in touch as much as you’d like them to?
And does it make you bat shit CRAZY when they behave like this, as if they’re being a dick on purpose?
Well that “dick” you know isn’t a dick. They’re simply non-needy and have naturally mastered the art of making people fight for their attention.
These people are magnetic because they scream high status.
If you want to become magnetic to women start by giving people less attention, by becoming less available.
Not liking her latest selfie on Facebook (like all the other guys will) or not responding to her texts immediately and going “off the radar” when you have something important to do.
People will start fighting to get your attention, (especially her).

#16: Never try to “lock” a girl down

When you’re dating a girl you really like, it’s easy to fall into the “let’s solidify things” trap.
Here’s how it works:
You start to like a girl, so you want to spend more time with her. As your feelings grow for her, so too does your attachment to that future with her.
You really want to kiss her. Sleep with her. Make her your girlfriend.
So much so, in fact, that you start to get nervous and insecure around her. And you start to feel a little possessive.
And you start looking for ways to “lock down” the future. You try to get her to commit to plans… you subtly hint at the strength of your feelings for her… maybe you even come out and ask her how she feels about you.
I probably don’t need to tell you that NONE of this is attractive to a girl.
Yet it’s weird, because when you like a girl, it feels very natural to do this stuff.
So what’s the solution?
Well, it’s simple, but paradoxical.
When you’re with her, you focus on having as MUCH fun as you can while you’re together… and NOT trying to confirm anything or lock anything down.
Think about it: if you have tons of fun the first time you hang out with someone… wouldn’t you want to see them again?
And if it just kept going like that – where you had a great time every time you hung out – wouldn’t it be easy to end up in a relationship with them?
But if they were a nervous wreck the whole time, and tried to PUSH you into spending more time with them… the only way you’d do it would be out of guilt.
And sorry to say it, but guilt doesn’t get girlfriends.
So always remember to live in the moment and focus on smiling, and putting a smile on her face, when you’re together.
You can flirt with the idea of future meet-ups but don’t try to lock her down when you’re with her. Simply add the word “sometime” to keep it open ended.
““we should totally rent motorbikes and ride down to that secret beach sometime”.

#17: Don’t give up too early

There’s nothing “stalker-ish” about being persistent if you don’t go overboard.
If done right persistence can be incredibly attractive.
Women love men who fight for what they want. So if a girl sees you’re determined in making her yours it’ll make her feel special, adored and most importantly…desired.
Because remember, women want to feel overwhelmingly desired, not rationally considered.
Some girls will keep rejecting you just to see how much you’ll fight for them.
So even if she rejects you the first couple of times – don’t give up chasing her – because if you give up too easily she’ll think that maybe she wasn’t that important to you after all and you probably only wanted to sleep with her.

Now go out and get the girl!

Before you go out and use this guide to get the girlfriend of your dreams, there is one more important thing you need to develop.
And it’s arguably the most attractive trait of them all…
I’m talking about confidence.
Your confidence will develop naturally after you start putting everything you’ve just read into practice.
There is no way to simply “Be Confident”, but after you start doing things like:

Assuming every girl is interested in you
Standing up for yourself
Taking risks
…And unleashing your sexual desire more

Confidence will develop naturally for you and so will your love life!

SHADOWS OF THE PAST: PART 13

Kike had an ushering gig. It was paying five thousand per usher and the lady who got the contract had asked her to find three other girls. She told me not to tell Mama, but she had asked one of her friends to come, Linda, and she wanted to know if I was also in.

Now, the thing about an ushering job is that it’s not about the money. Usually there’s a uniform and it’s usually nice and the girls sometimes get to keep them, but it’s not about that either. It’s about the men you will meet and end up with.
Yes, you will usher guests to their tables. Yes, you will carry trays of food if the event organisers don’t have caterers as well, and yes you will be insulted by an irritant who’s had too much to drink, or an ageing woman who just doesn’t like the look of you. But at the end of the day, when the party is over and only the people in the know are left, you will be paired up with a man, or two of you or three of you will be handed over to him, and you will follow him to his hotel room and in the morning the five k they paid you to come and usher will be nothing compared to the money in your bag.
As Kike told me about the ushering gig and filled me in with all the details meant to entice me – it was at the Ikoyi Boat Club, the celebrant was a senator, the vice president might be there – all I kept thinking was ‘my little cousin is becoming a bigs girls o.’
I was broke, and being broke is the devil’s hold on me, so I agreed to be an usher. Don’t look at me like that. Johnny had been away for three weeks and he hadn’t replied any of my text messages. Mama was yet to tell me that her Uncle China was ready to see me or my twin, and I don’t have a job. It was a job, as an usher, other things notwithstanding, and I have school fees to pay and hair to do.
The day of the ushering job came and we did plenty kurukere to make sure the other girls didn’t who what we were up to. I was feeling particularly guilty about not telling Mama, my babe, but truth be told, she’s not every man’s cup of tea. I’d been keeping a lot of secrets from her of late. I hadn’t told her about running into the London boy again at Eko Hotel, or for that matter how I disgraced myself. But hey? Abi?
Anyway, we arrived at Ikoyi Boat Club and the lady who was in charge told us all to line up while she inspected us one by one. She looked every girl up and down and I swear she was sniffing as she did so. She stopped in front of one yellow girl I’d never seen before and she dug her fingers into her crotch.
“What is this?” she asked. A look of irritation had spread over her face. “Pad? You can go.”
She stopped in front of me and I prayed she didn’t do me like she’d just done the girl she summarily dismembered.
She looked me up and down like three times then she asked me what my name was.
“Juliet, ma,” I said. She wasn’t young o!
“Juliet.”
She inspected my body over again, and even though her hand was not stuck between my legs, it felt like she was violating me.
“How old are you?”
“Twenty two, ma.” It was a lie. But the younger is always better in such places.
“Twenty two. And you are a student?”
“Yes, ma.”
She looked at me as if she’d discovered something that gave her doubt.
“Oya, stand here,” she said and she pointed in from of the row of girls.
At the end of her inspection, Kike, I, and another girl had been singled out by the madam. During the party, it slowly became apparent why.
Now, I watch a lot of Nollywood movies but I’ve never once believed any of the fantastic things that happen in them. Things like a girl being arranged for a ‘big man’ and the man turning out to be her dad when they see each other for the first time in his hotel room, but what happened at the ushering runs was nothing short of that.
The madam, her name is Yumbo, Aunt Yumbo, told the three of us who she had selected, that we were going to follow one driver to one man’s house. She told us not sleep there o, because the man hadn’t paid for the entire night. She gave us ten k each, for our cab fare back, and told us the man would give us five hundred dollars each.
Being with Kike gave me some comfort but I still felt a bit apprehensive when the Mercedes-Benz S Class climbed the Third-mainland Bridge and headed out of the island.
We eventually arrived at a big house with a big gate, somewhere in Ikeja GRA.
Uniformed guards opened the car door for us and we were politely led into the big house. It was a big house! The biggest I’ve ever entered that’s not a Hotel or an office or a church.
The house was empty and cold, thanks to invisible ACs that we couldn’t even hear, and dark because no normal lights were on, only dim lamps here and there.
A servant asked us to please wait and he went off to call his oga, one can only presume. As we waited, I got the idea to take a few pictures, and I now wish I didn’t. I was clicking away, and my camera phone flashing away, when non other than Ibrahim descended down the majestic staircase.
I wanted to enter the ground, but I felt even worse for Kike who had told him she was going to fellowship, which was why she couldn’t see him that night.
Oh, have I not told you before? Ibrahim is ‘I didn’t know you were an ashewo like that.’ Kike’s fine boy. But, what was he doing in a house like that? Did he not leave in VI?
I looked at Kike and she had shrunk into a pensive, remorseful thing. Her eyes and hands pleaded as tears streamed down her eyes. The boy stopped and looked at us then his rested on Kike. He looked pained.

SHADOWS OF THE PAST: PART 12

I was still clutching my life to my chest, cowering by the door and trying to stop and think clearly, when Janet called Brother Jeremiah.

“Hello? Hello? Brother Jeremiah, it is me, Janet… Francesca. The mirror has broke o!” she said. Then: “It is not me. It is one of them. She broke it!”
She was distraught and altogether not together. I was the ‘one of them,’ but I didn’t mind. The way I saw it, Brother Jeremiah was the one person who could help. I wanted to take the phone from her and talk to him myself but I couldn’t move away from the door.
“No… No… She did not do it on purpose… She look at it and she shout… I don’t know what she see… No… Yes…No. She is here… You want to talk to her?”
She handed me her phone, and at the same time, a dirty look. I, with trembling fingers, took it, and still unsure, put it to my ear.
“Hello?”
“Hello my sister,” came a low drawn out voice over the line, “What is your name?”
“Amaka.”
“Sister Amaka, why did you break the mirror?”
“I dropped it. I didn’t mean to.”
“You look inside?”
“Yes.”
“What did you see?”
“I’m not sure. I… I’m not sure.”
“My sister, please think carefully. Did you see anything in the mirror or you just broke it to offend your friend?”
“No! I saw something!”
“What did you see?”
“I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”
“Is the mirror still there?”
“It’s broken.”
“You pack it away?”
“No. No, I didn’t touch it.”
“Please, my sister, if you know you did not broke it to annoyed your friend, help me to look inside it again and tell me what you see.”
“What?”
“Just look inside the glass and tell me what you see.”
He wasn’t helping me; he wanted to kill me!
I flung Janet’s phone at her and she caught it into her belly. Thank God - that would have been the second of her property I would have destroyed that day.
Somehow, talking to Brother Jeremiah had calmed me down, but why?
My ability to think was still beclouded, but slowly, like sleep clearing from one’s eyes, I was gradually finding it possible to focus.
Why did he want to know what I saw in the mirror? Isn’t he the one that made the mirror? Then it hit me. He didn’t believe I saw anything in it. He didn’t believe me because he knew there was nothing to see. It was snake oil, sort of; a scam, a fraud, a mirror and nothing more. It was a dupe meant for Janet, and she had been totally mugunified by it. But what did I see?
With Janet busy trying to call Brother Jeremiah again, I slowly walked to the broken pieces of glass on the floor. I looked for the largest piece and picked it up with the hesitant fear of one handling a dead snake, but a snake nonetheless.
I held the piece of mirror up to my face and held my breath to look into it. I sat on the mattress where I’d sat before and I took another look. I was confused.
Janet had Brother Jeremiah on the phone.
“Look, Amaka, me I don’t know what is happening to you o! Brother Jerry said I should bring you so he can do prayers for you. You too, why did you look at the mirror? Did I ask you to look at it? Amaka? Amaka?”
I could hear her but my brain had decided that a more urgent task was at hand. I was busy trying to make sense of what I’d seen in the mirror. I was turning it here and there, holding it up and down trying to recreate the exact position I was in the first time I held it. There had to be an explanation.
“Amaka? Eh! Amaka? Me I don’t know this one that you’re doing o! Amaka? Amaka? Amaka!”
I remembered holding the mirror out to her and sneaking a peep. I tried to do exactly what I did before.
“Amaka? Amaka, talk to me nau. Amaka?”
Then, still holding the mirror in my outstretched hand, I turned my head to look at the wall behind, without shifting my body too much.
“Amaka! Amaka!”
I adjusted the mirror, looked into it again, and burst out laughing. Uncontrollably. That kind of laughter that you can’t stop; that bends your belly and waters your eyes and makes you start to choke.
Janet watched silently for a few seconds, then, as if she’d heard a starting gun go off, she jumped in a spot, swung round and bolted out of the room faster than you can say Usain Bolt.
Later that night, about nine or ten, with all the girls present and a few more, Janet called Mama’s phone.
“Hello? Mama?”
“Janet? Wey you dey?”
“I travel. How everybody?”
“You travel? Why you no tell anyone say you dey travel?”
“My Papa call me say make I come. You dey house?”
“Yes o, I dey house o.”
“You dey house? Who dey house with you?”
“We plenty for here. When you dey come back?”
“When I’m coming back?”
“Yes.”
“I never know. So, everybody dey house?”
“Yes. We all dey here.”
“Amaka nko?”
“Ah! Amaka! She don craze o! She don run commot ! They see her for C.M.S. She dey there dey disturb Okada people say she want to drive Okada! We wan go catch her now. You for come with us o, as you be her friend too. Janet?...Janet?...Janet, you still dey there?”
But Janet was no longer on the phone. Mama tried to call her back.
“Winch! She don off her phone!”
We all burst out laughing.
All the girls were in the room, even girls from the next room. A little boy from the compound was on his knees by the door; his hands were held over his head and dried tears had formed a track down his cheeks. Janet’s things from her box were all over the floor.
Normally I’d have objected when after telling them the mirror story Kike said we should go through Janet’s box to see what else she was hiding, but I also wanted to know what she had in there. So far we had found a vibrator with a broken cable, a Gideon Bible, a half empty bottle of Olive oil and an assortment of SIM cards, but no more magic mirrors or other enchanted everyday objects (not that we’d known what one looked like).
As we picked through her things I couldn’t help wondering what my other roommates had in their boxes. Kike, who was leading the inquisition, was thinking the same.
“Oya, everybody should open their bags now!” she said.
Mama objected.
“Lai, lai! No one dey search my bag!” she said. “Abeg, abeg, abeg. What for? Amaka, me and you, we have talk.”
“We have talk?” I asked her. The only girl in the room that I could trust with my life, but right there and then, I looked at her with eyes tainted with suspicion. “Oya, talk nau.”
“It is not talk for everybody. Make we go outside.”
“No o!” Kike said, jumping up from a chair. “We must search your box first.”
She squared up to Mama and I feared for her should Mama with her hefty frame take up the challenge.
“Why is it my own box that you want to search? Open your own first nau.”
“I will open it. Why don’t you want us to open your own?”
“You dey craze. Oya, that is my box. If anyone one of you get liver, make you open am. Amaka, let’s go.”
It was Mama, after all; shame on me for thinking bad of her. I got up and followed her, but not before warning that no one should touch my bag. I did it for her.
Clara, who was holding a cane fashioned out of a branch she had torn off a tree outside, asked about the boy knelling down.
“What of this boy?”
I turned to look at the boy. He’s eyes pleaded and fresh tears rolled down his cheeks.
“Aunty, please, I won’t do it again,” he promised for the umpteenth time.
Clara swung the cane at him and he let out a yell, even though he had acrobatically dodged the lash. She followed up with a slap which registered right across his face.
“So, that is how you have been peeping all of us in this compound?” she said, “Ashewo! You will stay here till your mother comes for you.”
The threat of reporting him to his mother made him forget he had been warned not to get off his knees. He threw himself prostrate on the floor and begged profusely.
I had no pity for him. It was his face that I’d seen in the mirror. He had used a broom stick to part the curtain from outside and was feasting his adolescent eyes on near naked women. Only God knows how long he’d been doing it and what he’d seen. I could forgive him his voyeurism, but he had got me so close to madness that no punishment was enough. I already knew what I was going to do to him. I was going to take him from door to door telling everybody how he had been spying on them from their windows, then I would let him go to live in fear of who would be first to report him to his mother. Foolish boy!
Outside, Mama held my arm and took me far from the BQ.
“Eh hen, Amaka, what do they call twins in your language?”
I’d long given up trying to guess where Mama was going with anything. It was the same Mama who had once asked me if I knew how to apply for Visa, only for her to give me the gist of one girl that said that her boyfriend used the internet to apply for a Visa for her, in a Nollywood home video. With Mama, there’s just no point guessing.
I simply told her what she asked for and waited for the explanation that was sure to come in her own time.
“Ejima.”
“Eh hen. Is that one Taiwo or Kehinde?”
“No. That’s twins. Taiye is Agiliga and Kehinde is Onyisi”
“And they can use them for both of them for boys and girls?”
“Yes.”
“Ok. You remember Uncle China? He’s not really my uncle.”
No shit, I wanted to say.
“The man has been disturbing that he wants twins,” she said.
She then explained how she frequently fixes him up with all sorts of desires of his: very young girls, left handed girls, girls with low-cuts, virgins.
At virgins I stopped her. I wanted to know how she succeeded in getting a virgin for him.
“The girl is not really a virgin jor. You know nau. How will he know? He gave me forty thousand for that one and gave the girl fifty thousand. I collected twenty five from her.”
That Mama managed to keep all this from me was surprising, to say the least. Maybe her loudness and razzness had stopped me from seeing beyond my own preconceptions of her.
“That time we went to his house, I told him you are twins. That’s why he asked for your number.”
“You told him I’m a twin?”
“Yes. He has been disturbing me for long that he wants twins, so I told him you are twins and that your other twin is in Ekpoma.”
My mouth was ajar as I realised what she was proposing.
“Mama!”
“Stop shouting jor. He said he would give me hundred thousand if I can find him twins.”
“Mama!”
“Oh! Amaka, don’t fall my hand o.”
“Mama!”
“How will he know that you’re not twins? What did you say they call twins again?”
“Agiliga and Onyisi.”
“That Agili one is too strong. We would say you are Onyishi.”
“Onyisi,” I corrected her.
“Wharever.”
“So, what if he says he wants the two of us at the same time?”
I was surprised that I was even encouraging her by asking.
“Amaka baby, it is me nau. I already told him you are not that type of girl. I said you and your twins are decent girls so he should even forget about sleeping with two of you together. In fact ehn, I told him that if I succeed to bring you, he should not let both of you know that he has met the other one.”
“So, you want me to go and see him and pretend to be a twin?”
“Onyishi.”
“Onyisi. And then after, I will go again and pretend to be my twin?”
“Yes.”
“And he’s giving you a hundred thousand for this?”
“Yes.”
“For one?”
She hadn’t thought of that.
“And what’s in it for me?” I asked.
She called Uncle China’s number, explained to the person who answered the call how she was his niece and soon the phone was handed to her uncle who was not really her uncle. I waited and listened.
“Uncle, the girl is proving difficult o! But I have spoken to her other and she is coming from Ekpoma next week. How much should I say you will give her?.... Fifty thousand? No o! Uncle, make it hundread….Good!...My own money is for one o! You will pay again for the other one o!...Trust me nau, she will also come. Just don’t tell her you know her sister.”
“And why does he want to sleep with twins?” I asked her, fearing the answer as I did.
“You know nau.”
I did.
“For juju?”
“But the thing cannot catch you nau. You are not a real twins, abi?”
I calculated: One hundred thousand each time I saw him as a different twin. If only he wanted triplets.

Pregnant Blac Chyna posed naked and cradled her growing baby bump on the cover of Paper magazine’s 1,000 Beautiful People September issue, and future sister-in-law Kim Kardashian even supported her on set!

In the pics (Us Weekly has the first look), the Rob and Chyna star, 28, stunned with long, blonde waves and a sparkly crown, and put her tattoos on full display. The reality star’s massive 7-carat diamond engagement ring from fiancé Rob Kardashian was front and center in the s3xy snaps. Inside the magazine, Chyna modeled several different looks that all flaunt her pregnancy curves.

The bride-to-be didn’t do a full interview to go along with her Paper cover, saying, “I don’t do interviews, and I haven’t spoken publicly in years.” However, she did tease fans that her upcoming E! reality show will give the world a different side of her.

I’m excited about fans getting to know me as a person and not as a thing or a face,” Chyna said. “I hope when people think about Blac Chyna, they think of a mogul and entrepreneur, a mother and a badass bitch.”

"Kim came by the set to check in with Chyna to see how she was doing,” Schreiber told Us of the Selfish author, who arrived in a floor-length black fur coat. "They had a private moment in Chyna’s dressing room when they could catch up and FaceTime family members. They really seemed to relate to one another like close friends or sisters. … Kim went through the racks and the clothes with Chyna privately in the dressing room and gave her thoughts.”

The expectant star also brought along another special visitor to set: her 3-year-old son, King Cairo, who she shares with ex-fiancé and Rob’s sister Kylie Jenner’s current boyfriend, Tyga. “It was really fun seeing her with King,”

Chyna and Rob are expecting a baby girl due in October. The couple got engaged in April after a few months of dating.