The one absolutely unselfish friend that a man can have in
this selfish world, the one that never deserts him and the one that never
proves ungrateful or treacherous is his dog – George Graham Vest (1870)
Joe Fortemose Chinakwe, the man who named his dog after
President Muhammadu Buhari is right now probably regretting his decision to
honour his dog with the name of a man he considers his hero. He has been
accused of trying to incite hate and breach the public peace. He has been
arrested and re-arrested by the police and taken to a magistrate court, which
promptly remanded him in prison until he is able to meet the conditions of his
bail.
He has spent days in prison custody unable to raise the N50,
000 that he has been asked to pay. His family members have only so far managed
to raise N20, 000. Even if he succeeds in putting that sum together, his life
is still in danger because aggrieved persons in his neighbourhood, including a
man who says he was trying to ridicule his father, have threatened to kill him,
if he shows up. The police are not investigating this threat, but they seem so
excited about dealing with the poor trader called Joe, for having the
effrontery to name his dog, Buhari.
To protect himself, Joseph has allegedly put the dog to
sleep, or thrown it away or whatever, in the hope that once the evidence is
destroyed there will be no case against him. It is all so pitiable. Public
opinion appears to be divided as to the nature and seriousness of Joseph
Chinakwe’s alleged felony, with some people arguing that it is definitely an
act of provocation and incitement for him to label his dog, Buhari so boldly
and to parade the same dog in a neighbourhood where there are many residents of
Northern extraction, whose feelings may be injured or who may perceive that he
is trying to make a political statement.
Those who want him punished have therefore dismissed
Chinakwe’s protestation that he is an admirer of the President, or that he
means well. His defenders insist that he is entitled to free speech and there
is nowhere in the statutes where a man can be punished on the basis of the
perception that some people’s feelings may be injured, and hence, be prompted
to commit murder. The law is not structured that way.
We are dealing, therefore with ethnic hate at the lunatic
fringe. Nigerians have become so suspicious of one another, and inter-ethnic
relationship is so poisonous that even the littlest innocent gesture could
result in mayhem. This is why many have been killed for allegedly committing
blasphemy or for insulting the religious sensibilities of some people. Remember
the woman who was killed by her students for allegedly desecrating the Quoran.
Remember Gideon Akaluka.
Remember the woman who was recently beheaded in Abuja
for daring to preach the Christian gospel. We are also dealing with disregard
for human freedom, and Nigeria’s slip into a tragic season of intolerance. Why
shouldn’t Chinakwe call his dog whatever name catches his fancy? Well, may be
he should have chosen an Igbo name? But if we want national unity, why
shouldn’t he take a name he admires from another part of the country?
Ali Baba, the ace comedian, like many others, has come out
strongly in defence of Chinakwe saying he actually has a dog in his house named
OBJ, and that is quite direct because only one man bears that sobriquet in this
country, and neither OBJ nor his kinsmen have asked Atuyota to leave
Yorubaland. One of the most famous pictures online is that of a goat named
Goodluck Jonathan, with the name written on both flanks of it. President
Jonathan’s wife was also once (July 2013) referred to as “shepopotamus” by
Nobel Laureate Wole Soyinka, and before our very eyes, President Olusegun
Obasanjo, donated, to a conservation sanctuary, a chimpanzee, which he named
Patience to make a point obviously.
The parody at the time was unmistakable. We all drew humour
from all of that. What we seem to be dealing with right now, however, is the
absurd deification of a name on ethnic and partisan grounds. It is curious that
the Nigeria Police is devoting to the trial of Chinakwe, a feverish amount of
energy that we have not witnessed with regard to more statutorily relevant
offences. This hullaballoo over the giving of a dog a name that has led to its hanging
and the likely punishment of its owner is one distraction too many. We are
above all else, dealing with a storm in a tea cup, occasioned by a culture
shock, and our underdeveloped understanding of the relationship between man and
animals.
Chinakwe says he chose the name Buhari out of admiration.
And he may well be right, and he would have been right, and there would have
been no problem if he was living in Europe or North America. But he lives in a
country where animals have no rights and no recognition other than as victims
of human predators, and a dog in our culture is to be treated as an instrument
or as meat for the soup pot. Elsewhere, a dog has earned its reputation in
mythology and actuality, as a man’s best friend.
The root of this is that a dog
is considered the most beloved, the most loyal and the most dependable of all
animals. People use dogs to guard their homes, to keep away intruders, even to
play with children and as companions in the home. There are many stories and
legends about the loyalty of dogs. Hawkeye is the name of a famous dog who lay
next to the casket of its owner who died in active service as a US Navy SEAL.
There is a film, “Hachi, a dog’s tale,” starring Richard
Gere, about Hachiko, a dog who greeted his owner at the train station everyday
and after the owner died, the dog went to the same station for nine years.
Recently, I posted on instagram the picture of a dog in Santa Catarina, Brazil,
Negao the dog, whose owner died eight months earlier and the dog remained outside
the hospital awaiting his owner’s return. In the United States, a police dog
has been given a state burial, draped with national colours in appreciation of
its loyal and meritorious service to the nation. Many centuries ago, Homer
wrote in Odyssey, about a loyal dog, Argos who waited for Odysseus until he
returned.
The established normal is that a dog can be trusted more
than a human being. And this is why in other parts of the world, when people
name their dogs after celebrities, they are actually paying compliments and
showing respect. World figures like Elvis Presley, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Louis
Vuitton, Mandela, Clinton, J. F. Kennedy and others have had their names given
to either cats or dogs, and it is no big deal. Admirers transpose their
feelings from man to animal. Joseph Chinakwe may actually be saying that
President Buhari is a loyal, trustworthy, supportive, dependable and
companionable Guardian of the Nigerian estate.
It would have been a different
thing perhaps if he had given that name to a tortoise, a rat, cat, a fox, or a
chimpanzee. But in a country where every animal is considered a prey or a
lower, spiteful creature, using the metaphor of a dog could be risky as the
Chinakwe case has shown. In Nigeria, we treat animals badly, and we don’t consider
anyone a friend, man or animal. We are vengeful, mean and suspicious. We are so
scared we are even afraid of domestic and domesticated animals.
In other societies, animals are treated with greater respect
and in the United States for example, the life of a dog is far superior to that
of a human being in Nigeria. I have written about this twice: In “A Dog’s Life”
(1996), I reflected on the life of a dog owned by Stanley Meisler (God bless
his soul) and his wife, Elizabeth Fox, my hosts during my journalism programme
at the University of Maryland, College Park, United States (1996 -97). I was
shocked that the dog had a room of its own, a proper room, not a kernel, and
whenever that dog fell ill, we took him to a dog hospital and Stanley bought
drugs. I saw that dog living the life of a king, better catered for than many
Africans.
I wrote another piece titled “A Hotel for Dogs” (July 23,
2006) about a five-star hotel in Bethesda, Washington, which attends to dogs as
customers, and where dogs enjoy a life of luxury. Established in 2003, by
PetSmart Inc., by 2006, there were 32 hotels of its type in the United States
and the then spokesman of the group, Bruce Richardson, had boasted that by
2010, the plan was to have 240 such hotels across the United States. We are
talking luxury, 23 USD per night, 33USD for a dog suite, as at that time, all
pre-tax, plus provisions for pooch ice cream. In general, Americans spend about
$40 billion dollars a year on household pets. I guess that is more than
Nigeria’s annual budget even by today’s relative standards.
And so, what are we talking about? An American dog is a big
man in Nigeria by all standards. But because we eat dogs and treat all animals
badly in this country, in fact we have no regard for human beings (consider the
hundreds that get killed, raped, kidnapped daily and nobody cares), we are
bound to be incensed that anyone would name a dog after a deified political
figure. Joe Chinakwe’s sins should be forgiven, albeit there is no morality in
law, but the Nigerian judiciary should not expose itself to further ridicule by
lending the weight of the law to such partisan trash that makes no sense.
There
are far more important issues requiring serious attention in this country
today.
But in case nobody understands that and Mr Chinakwe and his
counsel find themselves in a tight corner, they should put out a disclaimer and
say their dog, living or dead, is filing for a change of name. That is
perfectly within their rights to do. And should they find themselves in any other
difficult situation, they have my full permission to rename the dog, Reuben
Abati. But should you, dear reader consider this a bad name you wish to hang,
you also have my full support, partnership and friendship to offer your own
name.
If that will put an end to this circus over the name of a
dog, and set Joseph Chinakwe free, and also remind us that we are in a
democracy, please, help and so be it. By the way, I hear Chinakwe and his
sympathisers finally managed, after a fund-raising appeal, to raise a sum of
N90, 000 to perfect his bail bond and that he is now out of detention. Would
somebody in a responsible position just put an end to this joke and let us
focus on serious issues?
